


Ride or Die (Sons of Anarchy X Lana Del Rey)

by ItsBound2



Category: Lana Del Rey (Musician), Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28855824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsBound2/pseuds/ItsBound2
Summary: Lizzy Grant (Lana Del Rey) goes to Charming for a small concert, and gets a ride in town from the mysterious and fun Tig, whom she invites to the show along with his biker friends. Things really kick off, when she meets "the prince of Charming"You can also find this story on Wattpad, with pictures and links to songs that set the mood, under the same username "@ItsBound2"
Relationships: Lana Del Rey/Jax Teller
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	1. 1.The Charming Charming

_**Lana's pov** _

I'm waiting once again in front of a gas station for a stranger to feel bad enough for me that they decide to give me a ride.  
I'm starting to grow tired of the same life of uncertainty.  
While the presence and approval of strangers makes me feel better about myself, these moments when I'm alone are excruciating. I'm a huge overthinker, I've always been this way, continuously searching for ways to calm my restless mind and never succeeding, just ending up in a more complicated spot than the previous one.

I lean on a concrete pillar and pull out a cigarette, putting it between my lips to light it, but I can't find my lighter; I must've lost it again. My long hair flows down my shoulders and undulates in the wind alongside the bell sleeves of my 60's inspired, baby blue dress.

A man on a Harley approaches me and stops so close that I swear if I were to be one step further he would've knocked me over.

"Hey pretty lady, would you make me the happiest man in the world and let me give you a ride to wherever you're headed?" He is tall, with piercing blue eyes and curly dark hair, wearing a leather cutte with a sergeant's patch sown over his heart;

Seems like he's part of some gang or at least a very well established motorcycle club. Although he has a bit of a crazy vibe I sense a genuine kindness to him; but I always first assume people mean well anyway. I don't like judging a book by it's cover, the way most people judge me.

All my life I've been considered nothing more than a pretty face and had to work harder than the rest to prove my worth. People also usually assume I'm mean or stuck-up; they judge me like a picture book, by the colors like they forgot to read.

"I forgot to introduce myself, Alexander Trager, but you can call me Tig." He shows me a large, friendly smile and reaches his hand out.

"Hi Tig, I'm Elizabeth, but you can call me Lizzy." I firmly shake his hand. "I could actually use a ride to Charming, if you don't mind."

"CHARMING?" He exclaims in shock, his eyes getting wide.

"Yuuup..." I answer a bit freaked out "Is it ok?..."

"It's perfect. I was headed right that way. Charming..." He chuckles. "Seems like faith brought us together." He says with a playful smirk on his face.

"I guess so."

I blush while he hands me his helmet and I hop on the back of his Harley. He smells like leather and sweat, but I don't mind it; it reminds me of my dad...  
We take off and I am immediately impressed by how well he rides; every little movement comes so natural to him, like the bike is an extension of his body.

Half an hour passes in what seemed like 5 minutes. The feeling of the wind in my hair and the rush of the ride make me the happiest I've been in a long while. I feel like a teenager again, before life got complicated, when my only struggles were trying to avoid my mom and not having the trendiest outfit out of my girl friends.

"So what's such a pretty lady like you doing in Charming?" He asks breaking the comfortable silence.

"I'm actually performing at a local bar tonight; I'm a singer, or at least trying to become one."

"Beautiful and talented, I guess luck was on my side today." He jokes, but I also feel sincerity in his voice.

"I'm flattered!" I laugh. "Is it ok if I ask what you do for a living? I'm just curious since you ride so well, I bet you get to do it very often."

He lets out a little giggle followed by a sigh.  
"I'm part of a little motorcycle club; just a bunch of Harley enthusiasts that got together and ride together back and forth between motorcycle conventions... "

Just as I had suspected...

"Speaking of riding back and forth, where should I drop you off Lizzy?"

"At the Charming Heights motel would be perfect."

I feel him tensing up a bit and hear him mumble a few words under his breath.

"It's already receiving guests? They started building it only a month ago."

"Yup. I hear the place is great, amazing service and all. I'm looking forward to seeing it for myself."

We enter Charming and I immediately fall in love with it, it really is a charming town, no pun intended. There are lots of people walking the beautiful streets, relaxed like they don't have a care in the world and they're all looking at us. I get chills down my spine. It's not like I don't usually get any attention, but never like this.

He pulls a hard left on an alley filled with greenery and pretty, wooden benches; the road surrounded on either sides by trees opens, revealing a tall, rustic building; nothing like the ones I've seen throughout town.

"Well then this is your stop, a gem among stones; totally ruins the vibe."

"Thank you so much Tig."I pat him on the shoulder and get off the bike onto the sidewalk.

He smiles at me and roars his engine as a goodbye.

"WAIT" I yell after him, making him stop abruptly. "Come see me sing tonight. The performance starts at 8.30 pm. There is a 5 dollar fee but tell the bouncers you know May Jailer and they should let you in for free; it's the least I could do to pay you back for the ride."

"May Jailer?" He asks in confusion.

"It's a long story; maybe I'll tell you after the show." I laugh implying that I'll see him there for sure.

He hand gestures a heart towards me and winks, riding off.

\-----------------------------

**_I hope you find this pairing of characters as interesting as I do. I feel like the side of Lana she has created in her songs would be a perfect fit for the Sons of anarchy universe._ **  
**_The action takes place at the beginning of season one, just after Wendy gives birth to Abel._ **  
**_In this universe Tara hasn't come back from Chicago yet. Maybe she never will..._ **

**_Some other things are different too, but I'll let you discover them along the way._ **

**xoxo**


	2. 2. The prince of Charming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizzy finally meets the notorious prince of Charmig

**Lana's pov**

As the voices from the other side of the curtain grow louder and more impatient, I become more and more nervous.

It's the worst feeling in the world, but I can't seem to get enough of it.   
Being on stage and performing feels like a drug; the highs are high and the lows are even lower.

And it's always the same.  
I've never felt differently performing in front of ten people than in front of a hundred.

I take my place on stage and 10, 9, 8.... _I breathe in 5_ , 4, 3.... _I breathe out_.....let the show begin.

When the curtains are drawn my eyes instinctively wander through the room, but this time they don't do it aimlessly, they're looking for my new friend.

My eyes catch Tig's and I become calmer, now I'm not just performing, I'm singing for him.   
I can't help but notice the many guys he brought along, all of them bikers too.

The performance feels like a trance. I'm on autopilot.  
I don't like craving for the audience's approval, but I can't help it. Without them I am nothing.

I know artists are supposed to make art just for the sake of it, and not expect anything in return, be satisfied by just their passion;

Well I'm beyond that point... I've been singing and writing for myself for way too long.

As the end of the show approaches I always get a bit more tense; I can't help but feel like if the ending is successfull that's all that the audience is gonna remember anyway.

While I'm singing the last song I see Tig and the rest of the guys exit the bar...I guess I won't get to thank them for comming...

I bow in front of the audience and go backstage.  
It was a decent performance, but I can't seem to be able to make it turn out any other way.   
The past year has been nothing but a series of decent performances.

I sometimes catch myself thinking of getting tangled in the microphone's wire, or my voice horribly cracking and the audience laughing at me and booing me off the stage, but it wouldn't even be that bad.

At the very least I'd feel something even after the show is over.

After the manager pays me, I exit the bar and search an available uber to take me back to my motel, but I'm interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Lizzy, you were amazing!" Tig wraps his arms around me and lifts me off the ground, spinning around the parking lot.

I laugh hysterically and struggle to free myself from the chaotic hug.

"I've never in my life heard a more beautiful voice than yours."

"Thank you Tig." I say smiling.

"Let me introduce you to the guys. This is Bobby (he points towards a big man that looks just like Santa Claus), Chibbs (the guy has a scar from ear to ear, pretty intimidating if you ask me), Opie (by far the youngest of them all, but also the tallest) and last but not least, our club's vp and the prince of Charming, drumroll please....... Jackson!"

He smirks and looks me in the eyes; "But call me Jax."

I get a bit weak in the knees. There's someting about him that I just can't describe. He's the most attractive guy I've ever met.

"Nice to meet you all. I'm glad you liked the show. I hope the guards let you in for free?"

"Now why would we want that? We love supporting upcoming artists, especially talented ones." Said Tig with pride.

"Where'd you headed to darlin' ?" Asks Jax.

"I have to get back to my motel, I'm so tired..."

"No no no. We have to celebrate!" Yells the guy with the scar in a thick Scottish accent. "Come to our clubhouse, let's throw a party!"

"But it's so late..."

"LATE?! It's only 10 pm. Let's go" says Tig with enthusiasm. "You can ride with Jax."

"Yeah of course. Hopp on."

He hands me his helmet, just like Tig did... a bunch of gentlemen.   
I put my hands around him and he starts the engine. He rides just as easily as Tig, but a bit angrier. I hug him tighter.

"Are you good with speed? Forgot to ask.... I didn't mean to scare you."

"Don't worry, I'm not scared so easily."

He chuckles and I feel a few butterflies in my stomach. Am I crazy? Going to some stranger's place in a new town...I mean I guess I've been in more dangerous situations than this, but I'd promised Jim to stay safe until he gets here.  
What he doesn't know won't hurt him.  
And I trust these guys. I don't know why but I really do, and I'm good at reading people.

I love the warm Californian nights. I've always liked the heavy feeling of the humidity and the salty smell of the ocean; we must be close to the beach. I start examining Jax's bike; It's a pretty old model but it's in great shape, also has some non original pieces, he must've altered it himself. 

My eyes wander to his hands, covered in scrapes at the knuckles and a couple of black oil stains. He has a big, golden ring with the word "son" on it, a bit kitsch if you ask me.

"We're here." He interrupts my mental critique and snaps me back to the outside world.

We park into some garage's yard.   
So that's what they do for a living; they're mechanics.

"Jackson!" Yells an older lady quickly approaching us."I need to talk to you!"


	3. Cherry Cola

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizzy gets to connect with Jax on a deeper level

_**Jax's pov** _

"Jackson I need to talk to you!"

Not again....  
I know that voice, it's the Jackson you did something wrong and I'm here to make it right voice.

"What's up mom?"

"Your junkie ex wife gave birth to your perfect son a week ago and you haven't even looked at him yet, is what's up!"

"Can we not do this right now?"

"No Jackson! We can't not do this right now! He needs you; you're the only one he's got and I'm starting to think you don't care about him... I can't ever recognize you!" She can be so annoying sometimes, always sticking her nose where it doesn't belong.

"Mom I'm really not in the mood right now! And don't you tell me how I feel about my own son. Mind your own business!" 

The anger from her face turns into disappointment and she opens her mouth to tell me something else but Clay interrupts her.

"Come on Gem, leave the boy alone. You haven't even noticed that we have a guest."

**_Lana's pov_ **

The man approaches me, takes my hand into his and kisses it with a grin on his face.

"I'm Clay, welcome to our happy place." He says sarcastically.

"Lizzy, nice to meet you." I look him up and down without realizing it, he's a bit intimidating, making my danger signals go off.

"What brings you here Lizzy?"

Before I can say something Tig intervenes.

"Lizzy here, is a very talented singer. We went to one of her concerts and she was amazing, so now we're here to celebrate."

"Is your name Lizzy?" Says Clay irritated but Tig doesn't seem to mind it.

We enter one of the two buildings from the yard and inside are even more guys chatting with half naked girls.  
What is this place?  
All of the girls turn to look at me with curiosity and when Jax comes next to me their curiosity turns into envy.

I see Opie go to one of them and he kisses her on the forehead, then they start chatting.

"That's Opie's wife, Donna. Sorry if you had your eye on him, he's taken."

I let out a little laugh  
"Don't worry, I'm also taken."  
I look up at him and for a second I swear I can see disappointment in his eyes.

"Where's the lucky guy then?"

"He's supposed to arrive tomorrow, he got caught up with some work for my second album."

"What, he's also your manager?"

I nod.

"Don't you know you're not supposed to mix business with pleasure?" He says with a smug smile on his face.

"It's not like that; we've been dating for four years and are supposed to get married next spring."

"So it's serious."

"Endgame."

The conversation dies for a few moments and I spit out the first thing I can think of.

"So...you have a kid?"

He looks at me for what seems like the longest second, making me instantly regret asking the question.

"I didn't mean to pry. That's a really personal question. I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. Yeah... my ex just gave birth prematurely."

"Oh I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have asked."

"Really it's fine. Don't worry about it. But enough about me, tonight is about you; let's party like rockstars!"

We go to the bar and Jax looks at the barmaid, gesturing for her to come closer.

"Cherry, I'll please have a Jack on the rocks and Lizzy wil have a....?"

"Cherry Cola."

He squints at me and mouths "Really?"

"And Lizzy will have a Cherry Cola."

"A Jack on the rocks and a Cherry Cola coming right up!"

I look at the girl as she reaches for the bottle of Jack on the top shelve. She can't grab it so she climbs onto a bar stool.

"She seems nice."

"Yeah, it's because she's new here... A Cherry Cola? Seriously?"

"I've been sober for 5 years now...I'm not trying to go back to that dark place."

It gets quiet for a few moments.

"Oh...You should've said something, I would've also gotten something non-alcoholic if I knew."

"It's fine, I'm not in withdrawal or anything, I just have to be careful and not consume any."

"How long are you in town for?"

"Around two weeks; Jim has some business meetings with a real estate investor, Josh Hale I think."

"Jacob Hale?"

"Yup, that's it. You know him?"

"Yeah." He answers a bit annoyed. 

Cherry brings us our order.  
"Won't you introduce me to the star of the party? The guys have been talking up a storm about her since you got here."

"Of course, Cherry this is Lizzy; Lizzy meet Cherry."

"Delighted to meet you. So you're a singer?"

"Yeah I'm performing in town for a few nights."

"That's cool. I've never met a celebrity in flesh and bones before."

I blush; why is everyone so nice to me? "I'm really not a celebrity, you're too kind."

"Nonsense! You have to sing for us, these guys haven't heard any good music in a long while."

"You really should!" Jax backs her up.

"I can't, I'm so tired, my voice is horrible right now."

"Come on darlin' you said it yourself, you owe Tig one since he brought you in town.   
If you won't sing for him than at least do it for me, I bought you a Cherry Cola after all."

He then shows me the cutest smile and I can't say no to him...God I'm weak!

I agree and he climbs on the bar and Cherry hands him a mic.

"Ladies and gentlemen; please give Lizzy a warm welcome!"

Everyone starts cheering and the Santa Claus looking guy whistles loudly.

Jax covers the mic with one hand, squats down to me and whispers "Do you have the instrumental?"

I pull out my USB flash drive and give it to Cherry. "Play Cola"

Jax gives me his hand, helps me up on the bar and then hops off at my feet.

The song starts and I sing. But I don't feel like I felt while performing earlier...I feel better....I feel....alive.

I can feel their eyes on me;  
I feel Jax's eyes on me.  
I can't look at him.

When the song is over everyone goes wild. I step down on one of the bar stools and Jax helps me get on the ground.

Donna and Opie join us and we talk till 4 am.

"I really should get back to my motel now; I have to get to sleep."

"It's way too late, you should sleep here, we have a great room."

"Oh no Jax, I can't. I would feel like I'm intruding."

"Yes you can. It's my room and I'd be happy to let you rest for a bit."

"Are you sure it's ok? Where will you sleep?"

"Totally. We have plenty of really comfortable couches." He smiles.  
"Come on, follow me."

I grab the back of his shirt and he guides me through the crowd.

"Here it is. Make yourself at home."

He leaves before I can say something and I'm exhausted. I lay on the bed and I go out cold.

\--------------------------------

_**How do you think Jim is like?  
And how will he react when he hears about Lana hanging out with the guys?** _


	4. Jim-dandy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to meet Lana's fiance
> 
> Jim-dandy: noun That which is very fine, pleasing, or excellent. Often used in the phrase "a jim-dandy of a," which can be used sarcastically to imply the opposite. Primarily heard in US.

**_Lana's pov_ **

I wake up to the desperate buzzing of my phone, recieving a bunch of messages from Jim.

I look at the time and it's 12 pm. I slept through all of my alarms. I was supposed to meet him at 10.

God damn it...he's gonna be pissed.  
I text him "on my way" and go to the mirror. I look really beat up...  
I go ahead and fix my hair and makeup before exiting the room in a rush.

The guys are all still passed out in the weirdest places; on tables, on the ground and even on the bar, the half naked chicks using them as pillows or being their blankets.

I look over to a couch and there he is, "The prince of Charming" I whisper to myself giggling; and he's looking just as nice as last night.   
I really wanted to thank him for letting me sleep over but didn't want to wake him and I had to meet Jim anyway.

I go outside and uber back to the motel, where Jim is sitting on the steps, head in his hands with an angry look on his face.

He sees me and gets up.

"Where the fuck were you? We were supposed to meet here two hours ago and then I find out you haven't even been back since last night?!"

"Jim I-"

"Are you cheating on me?"He yells loud enough for everyone in a 30 metres radius to turn and stare at us.

"NO! Why would you even ask that? Come on; let's go to my room, don't make a scene."

I run inside and head towards the elevator; he has no choice but to follow me.  
The doors close just before he can come in and he has to take the stairs up to the 3rd floor, but still manages to get to the door before me.  
We enter my room and he starts looking frantically through my things.

"What are you doing?!"

"You're drinking again aren't you? You probably got drunk and slept in some ditch all night. You look like crap."

"Jim stop it! I'm really not in the mood for-"

"You're not in the mood for what? Having a mature conversation?"

"That's not what you're doing!"I say rolling my eyes.

"What am I doing then?!"

"You're acting crazy!"

He pushes me out of the way and goes to look in the closet, searching for god knows what.  
I take a glass, fill it with water and splash it in his face hoping that would put him out of his manic state.

And it worked, he stopped. Now he was just standing in the middle of the room, looking at me.

"Can we talk please?"

He opens his mouth and closes it again, speechless.

"Ok so I talk, you listen."

He sits on the bed and I stand in front if him with my arms crossed.

"After the concert was over I went outside to look for a taxi and come back to the motel, but a few fans spotted me and basically begged me to go hang out with them and answer some of their questions about the meaning of my songs.  
So of course I didn't say no! I mean, how bad would I look if the word came out that I don't care about the people that support me?"

"So you were talking to your fans until 12 in the afternoon and couldn't answer your phone?"

"No silly!" I say petting him on the head "we went to one of the girl's house and it eventually got very late so I slept on her couch...I promise you don't have to worry about me. You know I love you." I say pulling him close and hugging his head.

He puts his hands on my hips and then wraps them around me. I'm pretty sure he believed me.  
I couldn't possibly tell him the truth, for both his and my own good.

"So are we ok now?"

"Yeah...I guess" He mumbles  
"Just don't do anything like this again."

"I promise."

We sit in silence for a moment and he pulls back from the hug. He's not one to show much affection lately but I know he loves me.  
He's loved me since we were kids...And I loved him back.  
Even though we would argue very often and he would sometimes hit me, I knew he meant well, he just didn't know any other way to show it.  
And it's not like he'd ever put me in the hospital or anything.  
I've seen guys treating their girlfriends much worse and they were still happy so who am I to complain?  
Besides, we make a great team...he's the reason why I have everything that I have.  
Without him I would be lost.

"When do you have that business meeting?"

"Eight days from now, but I have a feeling it's going to be postponed. We might have to stay in this shit town for longer than we expected."

"Well let's try and make the best of this time."

He looks at me a bit annoyed "Yeah... whatever you say."

I caress his cheek and he places his head in my hand and suddenly his little hysterical episode is forgotten.  
He can be so sweet sometimes...

His phone rings and he gets up and looks out the window.  
"I have to leave. I'll be back tonight so try not to fall asleep on any fan's couch."

"Where are you going?" I squint my eyes at him.

"Business." And he storms out of the room before I can say anything else.

Make the best of this time.....

I pace around the room for a few minutes trying to find anything that can distract me from this loneliness.  
I find my mind wandering back to last night, to the guys, to Jax.....to Jax.  
Why?  
It's not like he was that interesting anyways.   
And as I said, I'm taken. I'm getting married next spring, I shouldn't be thinking of other guys; I should be thinking about my career.

I pick up my phone and google "best places in Charming". Among the 5 things that show up, there's a mention of Charming Gardens. Sounds like the perfect place to spend my afternoon at.

I pull out google maps and it shows a route of a 15 minute walk so I get my purse and get going.

I like the boring, quiet vibe of this town. It calms my nerves down, let's me actually think about things. Just me and my thoughts...

I'm a slow walker so it takes me around 20 minutes to get to my destination.   
I spot a bench in the shade of a huge Oak tree and sit down, admiring the view.

I get so lost in the beauty of the garden that I don't notice the lady that sat besides me until she coughs.

I recognise her, she's Jax's mom.


	5. I long for yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Jax's life

**Lana'** **_s pov_ **

"Hey baby."Says the lady with a kind smile on her face. "I'm Gemma."

"Oh hi Gemma I'm Lizzy; nice to meet you."

"I'm-"

"Jax's mom?"

"You have a good memory I see."

"You really aren't what one might call forgettable..." I laugh and I can see that she apreciated the compliment.

"So how did you end up coming back to our clubhouse last night?"

"The guys invited me after my concert. Wait....no...not invited...made me come."

"They can be pretty convincing if they want to. So I guess you're not from town?"

"I'm from Manhattan."

She opens her eyes wide "Manhattan?!"

I nod

"And you came all the way from Manhattan to Charming?Why?"

"It's not like I'm moving here or anything; I'm just...visiting. My fiancee has some business in town so I just tagged along, figured it would be a great opportunity to promote my music."

"Smart girl. And talented too; you've been the main subject of any conversation since last night...everyone was amazed by your performance."

I blush "I'm starting to think no one in Charming has been to a real concert. I'm really not all that."

"Modesty suits you; but don't overdo it. Don't underestimate yourself...."

I don't know how to respond so I don't. I just start looking around the garden.

"You really impressed Jax. He liked you a lot; was sad that you left in the morning without saying anything."

"I didn't mean to be rude, I was just in a hurry and didn't want to wake anyone. I'm really sorry..."

"He's a big boy, he'll be fine."

"Now I really feel bad...I really am sorry. I hope I'll run into him in town and apologise..."

"You can come back to the clubhouse if you want, talk to him. Tig would like to see you too."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

**_Jax's pov_ **

"We would say he's strong enough for us to go in and perform his abdominal surgery. If we don't do it now we might not be able to later...It really is the only option."

I wish I could take his place. He just came into this shit world and has already suffered more than most people...I blame myself.   
If only I hadn't separated from Wendy; I could have prevented all this. Maybe it's selfish of me to think like this but I'm sure this is some cosmic punishment for all of my mistakes...and it's the worst punishment of them all.

"Mr. Teller? Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yeah...just...just do what's best..."

"Would you like to see him before the surgery?"

How could I even look at him? What would I say to him? Hi buddy, I'm the reason why all of his is happening to you?   
I feel tears start to gather in my eyes.

"Uhm no...I can't. I have something to do."

The nurse opens her mouth to say something but I leave before she can.  
I have to see Wendy.

I enter her room and she's sleeping. I bet the overdose drained her last drop of energy. We still have no idea how she got the drugs smuggled into the hospital.  
I sit down besides her and take her hand into mine.   
Everything that's happening to my family is my fault. The result of my negligence.  
I burst into tears. Tears of anger and frustation.

"Jax, baby..."

I look into Wendy's eyes and I feel the guilt of what I've done to her and Abel deep in my bones.   
"Wendy I'm sorry."

"How's our little man doing?"

"They just put him into surgery to try and fix his belly..."

"Everything is going to be fine. I'll get myself into rehab, Abel will heal and all of this will pass. I'm sure of it."

I get up and kiss her on the forehead.

"I have to go...I'll be back tomorrow."

I exit into the hallway and when I get to the reception I run into Unser who was just entering the hospital.

"Hi kid. How's Wendy doing?"

"She's fine."

"And Abel?"

"Are you here to talk about my family?"

My bluntness makes him uncomfortable.

"Just because I'm the sheriff and you're the outlaw doesn't mean I don't care about you. I've known you since you were a kid..."

"Ok. Thanks for the concern but I have to go."

"Wait...We have a problem. Your illegal gun warehouse that burned down is not in my jurisdiction. Vic Trammel has the case. It's out of my hands."

"Well did they find anything?"

"Not yet."

"Whatever, Clay will handle it."

"Be careful kid, you don't want to go to jail and leave Abel on his own. He needs his father."

I feel anger building up in me so I exit the hospital. I don't feel like arguing.

**_Lana's pov_ **

"Hi Tig."

"Lizzy, you're back! You left so suddenly that we thought you were upset with us."

"Oh no I just didn't want to wake you. Is Jax here?"

He grins "So you're looking for Jax huh?" He teases me.

"I just want to apologise. Gemma said he was sad that I left like that."

Before Tig can say anything else Jax pulls his bike into the parking lot.

The dude with the scar rushes to him.

"How's our big guy doing?"

"They just put him into surgery...Where's Clay? I have to talk to him."

"He just went with Juice to the warehouse. Should I call him?"

"Just tell him it's out of Unser's jurisdiction. He can't help us. Again."

Jurisdiction? What happened? Jax looks depressed.  
He spots me and his eyes light up.  
I start walking towards him.

"I'm sorry I left like that. I was late for something."

"Don't worry about it. What are you doing here?"

"I ran into Gemma at the gardens and she said you were upset so I wanted to come and apologise. But I'll leave, I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Interrupt? No no. Stay for a bit."

We look into each other's eyes for a few seconds.  
He takes me by the hand and starts walking towards the clubhouse.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

We climb up a ladder to the roof and Jax sits down on a ledge. I sit next to him.

"Is this your spot?"

He nods. "I come here to think."

"I get why. It's so peaceful up here...  
What jurisdiction were you talking about."

He looks at me surprised.

"Our warehouse...automotive parts warehouse burned down...in a forest fire and the sheriff told us...he can't give us any of the insurance money because it's not in his jurisdiction."

"Ouch...that sucks."

"Yeah. Did you get in time to where you were supposed to?"

"No..." I laugh. "Jim was so mad."

"Jim?"

"My fiance?"

"Oh right. I forgot."

It gets quiet again. I hate when this happens...I look at him and he's frowning.

"Can I help you with anything?"

He turns and looks at me a bit in awe "No darlin'...thanks. You helped me already tho."

"How?"

"I missed just sitting and talking to someone and you gave me the chance to do so." He shows me a sad smile and my heart breaks a little.

I hug him "Then I'm glad I could help."

We hug for a minute and my phone starts buzzing.

"It's Jim. I better get back to the motel."

I quickly get up and start heading to the ladder.

"Let me give you a ride."

"That's not a good idea...we already had a little fight this morning. Seeing me with a guy would only stir things up."

"I'll just drop you off around the corner. You can walk from there."

Persistent guy.

"Ok..."


	6. Cabin to the rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a horrible event, Lizzy and Jim have to find another place to stay at.

_**Jax's pov** _

I drop Lizzy off a street away from the motel and get a call from Opie.

"Hey man, can you come over to my place?"

"Somethin' happen?"

"Not sure; I just need to talk to you."

"Ok I'll be right over."

I get on my bike and arrive at Ope's door within 10 minutes.I knock and Donna lets me in.

"You know what happened?"

"It's Piney again. He won't tell me but I know for sure. This club is tearing my family apart and I'm helpless...just like last time. All this club does is hurt us."

"You know that's not true, we love you and the kids; the club is a big part of him, he could never walk away from it; it would break his heart...Where is he?"

Donna throws me a resentful look "In the backyard."

I mouth to her an "I'm sorry." and exit through the back door.

"What's up?"

"Pop got in a fight with Clay again over some stupid shit about the gun business and now he wants to go nomad."

"What? When?"

"This morning. I just found out one hour ago."

"Stupid old pricks. Piney should've brought up what was bothering him to the table during church not in fucking private."

"Yeah, I know."

"Where is he now?"

"At the cabin. I called him but it's going straight to voicemail. He doesn't want to talk to me."

"I'll go talk to him. Call you once I find out what went down between them."

"Thanks man, I appreciate it."

"No problem."

When I get to the cabin I spot Piney's bike. He's still here. I knock and hear clattering from inside, then the door opens and I have a shotgun pointed to my face."

"God Piney, what the fuck?!"

"What do you want?"

"I just want to talk. You going nomad?!"

"That's none of your business."

"You know it is. Leave the fucking shotgun down."

He frowns at me and leaves towards the kitchen, letting me come in.

"So what happened?"

He sits down, breathing havily. He's in worse shape every day.

"This isn't how it's supposed to be. Your old man never wanted this shit, he wanted to get us out of guns."

"I know. And I'm trying to do the same, but I can't do it with Clay holding the gavel, and I for sure can't do shit without you."

"I've had enough. I'm old, tired and bitter. I hate Clay and can't be part of this charter anymore. I don't want to live my last years being angry."

"And where would you go?"

"I don't know...anywhere else."

"And just leave Ope on his own?"

He looks at me and rolls his eyes.

"Opie has his own family. Donna will be there for him."

"Donna wants him to get out of the club. She doesn't want to get involved. And she has the right to after having had her husband in jail for 5 years."

"Go home Jax. Just leave me alone."

"Promise me you'll rethink this going nomad bullshit."

He opens the door, shoves me outside and slams it in my face.

_**Lana's pov** _

I enter my room and see Jim at the desk writing something on the computer.

"Hi."

"Hey. I booked you a gig next week, on thrusday."

"Really? So fast?"

"Yeah. It's for some birthday party. At the Teller-Morrow automotive club?"

"That's a weird place for a birthday party."

"Yeah, and on a thrusday too. Well, a gig's a gig."

Then something clicks in my mind. That's where the clubhouse is. I'll get to hang out with the guys again.

"At what time is it?"

"8.30" He turns and looks at me "Look, I'm sor-"

We hear screams from outside and then a series of explosions. I've never heard bullets being fired before but I swear this was it.

We look at eachother for a second, then rush to the window.

"Oh my god." My eyes widen and I cover my mouth in shock. Three people are laying on the sidewalk covered in blood.

"Should we go see what happened?"

"Jim are you crazy? What if the shooters come back?"

We hear sirens getting closer.

"They won't be back now that the police is here."

We rush to the hallway and it's empty.

"I don't want to see them again."

"They'll probably be there for a bit till the police figures out what happened."

"I'll just stay in the room until then."

"Fuck. Now I'm sure the meeting will be pushed back. Damn."

How can he care about that right now? Our motel just got shot at.

I go to the room, pick up my phone and start refreshing my tweeter feed with the hashtag "charming" hoping to find out what happened and why.

About 10 miutes later I hear bikes stopping outside. I look out the window. It's Clay and Tig. They are talking to the sheriff.  
Do they know anything about the shooting? Tig makes eye contact with me but doesn't even react. This must be really serious.

Another bike approaches. It's Jax. Why are they all here?

Some police officers put the bodies in bags and load them into an ambulance. I have to find out what's going on.

I rush outside and the police are already putting tape around the scene. Jim is aimlessly pacing around, talking on the phone.

"Liz!"

I turn around and Jax is waking towards me.

"Are you ok? What happened?"

"I don't know. We just heard gunshots and then all these people were dead. Why are you here?"

"It's complicated. Is the motel shutting down?"

"I don't know. Is it?"

"I know a place where you can stay. It's-"

Jim puts himself between me and Jax.

"We can't stay here anymore. We have to look for some other place."

"I was just telling Liz I know a place." Says Jax with a neutral tone.

Jim turns around and looks at him with his scariest look.   
"And who are you?"

"Jax" He answers with a smug smile and shows the intention of shaking his hand, but Jim ignores him.

"And how do you know _Liz?_ "

"I'm just a...fan."

"Jim honey, I met Jax at my concert. It's Jax isn't it?"

He looks at me amused and nods. "Yeah, you got it right."

"I own a nice cabin not far away from town and you are more than welcome to stay there."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"And where else are we supposed to stay?" I say looking at Jim in frustration.

"We'll find a better place."

"We don't have time to search for something else and it's already late. Let's just look in the morning. One night spent there can't hurt."

He looks at me, then at Jax, then back at me. "Ok but just tonight."

I see Jax's eyes sparkle."Then I'll make a call, wait for you to pack up and lead you there with my bike."

\---------------------------------

**_How are you enjoying the story so far?_ **   
  



	7. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizzy's world gets turned upside-down

**_Lana's pov_ **

We get in the car and start following Jax's bike.

"Are you sure about this guy? I have a bad feeling about him."

"Really? I think it's nice of him to give two strangers a place to stay."

"You know he's a gangster right?"

"What? No he's not. He's part of some motorcycle club."

Jim chuckles with superiority.  
"Are you that stupid? Come ooon....look at him. Think a little! Why the hell would he have been at the shooting, talking tooooo...drumroll pleaaase...THE SHERIFF?! They probably have the police department on their payroll."

"No way."

"I'm telling you."

He does seem to have a whole lot of business with the sheriff and the guys were talking about some jurisdiction...but really? A gangster?

"I don't know...he seems like a good person."

"He can be a good person but that doesn't make him not dangerous. Just because he's a pretty boy doesn't mean you should trust him."

"Well it will just be one night. We leave first thing in the morning."

Just as I finish my sentence we pull up to the cabin. It's nice. Seems like a family vacation place.

We get out of the car and grab our bags. Jax runs up to me and takes my luggage. Jim doesn't even notice.

"Thanks Jax. We really appreciate it."

"It's my pleasure."

He unlocks the cabin door and we enter. It's small and cozy. Not too tidy but I can't say I expected it to be any different.

Jax gives us a tour and goes outside for a smoke.

"Can't wait to get out of this dump."

"Please behave Jim..."

"You don't tell me what to do."

"Whatever." I feel my stress levels going up and I'm really not in the mood to argue, so I join Jax.

He looks tired. I guess having a sick kid and problems at work can be really draining. I get an inexplicable need to comfort him or hug him, but I refrain from doing so. It would be inappropriate, I just met him.

"You got a light?"

He pulls out a lighter and lights my cigarette.

"He seems like great company."

"He can be nice when he wants to. He's just tense."

"I get it...Is the cabin ok?"

"It's perfect, really. Thank you so much. I'm just shaken up about what happened at the motel. Who would do such a thing?"

"Someone who could benefit from Charming Height's real estate value going down. Maybe some competitors."

"Seriously?!"

"Yup." He answers coldly.

He looks at me and realises that I'm in shock.  
"But don't worry. It won't happen again. This was a desperate move, and a stupid one too. Whoever did it put themselves at great risk, they'll probably get caught soon."

He grabs my chin, tilts my head up and looks me in the eyes. "But you're safe here."

I feel an instant connection; I lose myself in his blue eyes for a moment and forget about all of my anxieties.

  
It's just me and him. And I kind of wish this moment could last forever.

But then I remember that Jim exists, so I pull back. I could never cheat on him. I love HIM. I don't even know Jax, and even if I did I still couldn't hurt Jim.

He takes a step back and nervously rubbs his hands on the sides of his pants.

"I'll get going then, let you settle in. Call me if you need anything. I'll try to come by in the morning."

"Ok. Thank you again."

I go inside and find Jim laying on the bed, browsing his phone. I sit down besides him and put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"The signal here is shit. Can't even send an email."

"Maybe you should leave it till tomorrow. Spend some time with me...I miss you."

"Look, I really have important stuff to do. If you want to relax just sleep on the couch."

"What?"

"Yeah. I'm bussy."

"What are you doing?"

"Just talking to someone."

"Who?"

"None of your business."

I reach and grab his phone, trying to take it out of his hand. He resists and it gets thrown to the other side of the room, playing a voice message:  
"I really can't wait for you to be back babe. I miss our hot nights together. When you get here after you get rid of that clingy bit-"

He picks it up and stops it.

I'm speechless.   
All I can think of doing is running to the bathroom and locking myself in there.   
I immediately burst into the most painful tears of my life.  
I can't breathe and my whole head is pulsating, I get sick to my stomach and I want the earth to split and swallow me; to stop existing.

"Come on Lizzy...Look, you know this hasn't been working lately. Don't make me feel like an asshole here, because I'm not."

I don't even listen to him and even if I wanted to I couldn't.

"What we had wasn't love. It was just a profitable relationship."

He gets quiet for a minute.

"I can still be your manager. We make an awesome team.  
And now even better, you'd have some inspiration for your songs...  
You know I love you, but as a friend.  
And we always argue, we aren't good together."

I can't stand to listen to him anymore so I turn on the shower and get in it with my clothes on. What's the point in taking them off anyway?"

He's still talking but I don't hear him anymore. I'm just sitting in the bathtub, hugging myself, numb.  
I wish I died right here, right now.  
I start thinking of all the times when I would kiss him and he would reject me and all of the nights I spent alone because he was on "business trips" for the "good of my career".  
All of the time, energy and emotions that I invested into this relationship were for nothing.  
And yet I still don't want him to leave me. I still need him more than ever.

"I'll just find some other place to stay at. Give you some time to think about us staying business partners. Call me when you've made up your mind."

I stop the shower and listen. He takes his bags, closes the door and in a couple of minutes starts his car.

I'm freezing but I can't say I care. Now my body feels as numb as my heart.  
I lay in the bed and cry myself to sleep.


	8. Dark paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family dinner?

**_Lana's pov_ **

I wake up at 9 am. Alone.  
I don't even check my phone;   
I don't feel like talking to anyone.   
My head is clearer now and not hurting anymore, let's try to keep it that way.   
I keep thinking of Jim and how much I miss him. Does he really not want me anymore?

I make myself some coffee and go out on the porch.   
The view is so calming.

Without realizing my mind wanders back to the moment that me and Jax shared last night. I don't feel as guilty anymore...

And I don't feel like leaving the cabin. It gives off such a homey vibe.

The sound of an engine keeps getting closer and before I know it Jax parks his bike. He spots me and comes smiling but frowns as he sees my facial expression.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

I was fine until he spoke. But as soon as he asked me what happened I burst into tears.

He squats down to my level and puts his hands on my head.

"Hey...what happened?"

I hug him and I cry for a couple of minutes. He just holds me and calmly plays with my hair until I manage to pull myself together. I look at him and he seems so concerned.

I pull out another cigarette from my pack and he lights it for me.  
I start smoking while staring off into the distance, with him still looking at me in confusion.

"Jim and I broke up."

"What? When?"

I take my pack of cigarettes and start playing with it on the table.

"Last night after you left." I look at him and he still looks just as confused.   
"Long story short he was cheating on me and planing to dump me after we got back home."

We sit in silence for a bit.

"How did you find out?"

"Tried to take his phone and accidentally played some voice message from a chick saying she can't wait for him to get home and break up with 'the clingy bitch'."

He looks at me for a moment.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me too...almost five years of relationship thrown out the window."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I have no idea. I need to think but I still can't."

"Look, I have to go visit Abel at the hospital. He's done with all of his surgeries; the doctors said that if he keeps healing at the rate he's been I can take him home in 2 weeks. Come with. Take your mind off of this for a bit."

"I don't know..."

"Come on. It'll be good for you." He grabs my hand and lifts me off the chair.

He gives me his helmet and we get on the bike.   
He rides off, but not as aggressively as last time. It's like he's trying to comfort me.   
I hug him and rest my cheek on his shoulder.

"You can stay at the cabin for as long as you want. You don't have to leave today."

"Really?" I ask with enthusiasm, but my mood quickly changes "I don't know...I think I'd get lonely..."

He thinks for a moment.

"I could also come stay up there if it would make you feel better. It makes no difference to me that I'm in town or here."

I would actually love that...but it feels rushed.   
Why tho?  
Its not like I'm emotionally available right now. And getting into a relationship with a complicated guy is not what I need, and he's a father too. I need to focus on myself and my career.

"Think about it. You don't have to decide right away. Just tell me when you've made up your mind."

"Ok."

I close my eyes and before I know it he parks the bike in the hospital's parking lot.

"Are you sure you want me to come with?"

He takes my hand and we start walking towards the entrance.

We get to the pediatric department, by a room with a huge window, full of babies in incubators. We don't even have to read the baby names to find Abel; he's got a light blue beanie with the same picture as the one on Jax's kutte.

"Did you make him the hat?"

"It was a gift from grandma."

"She loves him very much. You too, I can see it in her eyes."

"Yeah...sometimes too much."

"What do you mean?"

He shrugs "She can be very controlling and possessive."

"I'd take a mom who loves you too much over one who barely knows you exist..."

He leans against me and makes me lose my balance a bit "Yeah I guess...  
I hope Abel won't have to think of an absent mom..."

"Where's your ex?"

"She just checked into rehab."

"That's a good sign, means she wants to get better."

"Yeah well it's not that easy; if she wasn't able to quit while being pregnant....That's all my fault tho."

I look at him, surprised "What do you mean?"

"Doesn't matter, what's done is done."

I put my head on his shoulder. Why can't Jim be like this? If only things had been different, we could've been here together, looking at our own kid.

Jax's phone rings.

"Yeah...  
At the hospital...  
I don't know...  
And leave Liz alone?...  
Ok I'll ask...  
Love you too."

"Who was it?"

"Mom. Wants us to have dinner at her place. You up for it?"

"I don't see why not."

"Great." He says smiling.   
I like his smile, it's always so warm and genuine.   
And I like his family too. They all seem so united and loving.  
I wish I had a family like that... but now that Jim left me, I'm even further away from that dream turning into reality.

"Can we go to the cabin first? I have to change."

"Sure. Let me talk to Abel's nurse and then we'll go."

He walks over to the reception and in a couple of minutes the nurse is also there.  
He seems to know everyone in this town, and everyone knows him, but I guess that's what happens when you live in the same small town for all of your life.

They talk for a bit, Jax signs a few papers and then we leave.  
When I get to the cabin's bedroom, I see the wet sheets and think of Jim again. I hate the thought of going back to Manhattan on my own. I have nothing to go back to, no future plans, no direction.  
All that's waiting for me back there is loneliness and disappointment.

I put on my favourite white dress with bell sleeves and do my hair and makeup. I think I'm a bit overdressed for a dinner but I got carried away.

I walk to the living room where Jax is waiting for me, watching TV.

"So? Am I ok?"

He turns around and looks me up and down surprised.

"Wow."  
"You look amazing" he stutters.

"Thanks." I say with a big smile "Let's go. I want to be there early and help your mom."

"Yes ma'am."

We get on the bike and at every red traffic light I feel like everyone is looking at us, talking.  
It feels so weird; even tho I have my few fans, this is not like that. It's different and I don't know how or why.  
In about fifteen minutes we get to the house and I let Jax walk in first. Suddenly I'm nervous.

We enter and find Gemma in the kitchen, moving a roast from an oven tray onto a decorative one.

"You two are early."

"Liz wanted to come and help you."

She looks at me surprised. "That's really sweet of you but I'm all done here."

"There sure is something else left for me to do."

She looks around the room, thinking.  
"You can set the table if you want to."

"I'm on it."

I take the plates and cutlery that Gemma gives me and start arranging them around the huge dining room table. She has such a nice house, I guess having your own repairs garage really pays off.

Right as I'm done arranging the table, all of the guys walk in.

"Hi kid!" Yells Tig with the biggest grin on his face. "What are you still doing here?"

"I decided to stick around for a bit longer than planned; I won't leave until you're sick of me."

"Then welcome, get ready to never leave."

The rest of the guys say hi and hug me. I spot some new faces but Jax introduces us: Juice (he handles all of the garage's online payments and documents) and Half sack (it's his first year of working here and he's still learning, apparently went to Nam', where he unfortunately got his nickname), both seem really friendly and the fact that they are close to my age makes me feel a bit better. Donna is also here but she seems mad at both Jax and Opie... I wonder what happened.

I sit between Jax and Chibbs.

"So darling, how come you're still hanging around our boy here?"

I quickly look over to Jax whose talking to Opie on the opposite side of the table. He looks so happy to be here and I can't help but smile.

"I don't know, I guess faith just made me stick around for a bit. I like to think that there are some things which are beyond our control."

"Is your boy still in town?"

His questions snaps me back to reality.   
I'm not free and guided by faith to this warm and welcoming place.  
These people aren't my friends or family. I left my family and my last friend just left me.   
I'm alone and at the end of the day I'll be sleeping on my own, in a cold bed. I feel tears start to build up in my eyes.

"I have to get some fresh air. Sorry."

I abruptly get up and go out the front door, with everybody looking at me.

I start walking along the street without any direction, Jax screaming my name behind me.   
He catches up and stops me.

"Lizzy are you ok? What did Chibbs say?"

I look away hoping he won't notice my tears. "Oh nothing I just felt like getting some fresh air. I'll be back in a bit." I go around him and continue my aimless walk.

"Hey...Come on. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

I try to avoid him but he grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug. I break down crying; again.

"Can you just take me back to the cabin please?"

"Yeah...of course. Let me get my bike."

I wait for him by the side of the road, get on the bike and within ten minutes we get back to the cabin.

He follows me to my room, I get in bed, he tucks me in and turns around to leave.

"Jax."

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay?...Please..."

He looks at me a bit confused, signs for me to scoot over, then gets in bed next to me.

He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. I feel so safe. I snuggle my face into his chest until I can barely breathe.  
I love this feeling.   
I wish I could always feel this way.

Before I can think of anything else, I drift away into the dark paradise.


	9. Honesty is the best policy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After seeing a big red flag, Lizzy want to leave Charming

_**Lana's pov** _

It's been two weeks since the dinner incident and I'm still here. Jax and I have been in a bit of a weird place.   
The morning after everything, I woke up alone, to a note saying that he had to take care of some things and had to leave early.  
And we never addressed what happened, just went on with an awkward tension between us, no one brave enough to call out the elephant in the room.

Abel's supposed to come home soon. Is it weird that I'm actually looking forward to it?  
I haven't talked to Jim or sang since he left...Maybe I should start looking for a new manager. I still miss him and I'm not sure what to do next. I'm considering staying in Charming, looking for a place to rent. It's a very nice town and now I have friends here.

I get along great with the guys. The only one I'm not loving is Clay...I have a bad feeling about him and I've learnt to trust my intuition when it comes to this sort of things.

I uber to the clubhouse to talk to Gemma about helping me find a place to rent and enter the yard at about the same time as the guys are exiting the building. 

I want to lift my arm up and wave at them but I get an eerie feeling. The atmosphere is heavy, like there are storm clouds above all of their heads, you could cut the tension with a knife.

Jax lashes out at Clay and they start fighting, really fighting.  
I look over to Gemma, who runs out of the garage, worried.  
Right when Jax is preparing to knock Clay out, the guys jump in and get him off of him, leaving the old man laying on the table that Jax pushed him onto.

  
Gemma runs to Clay but I still can't move. Jax spits blood, angry while Chibbs and Bobby try to calm him down.

I look over at Clay, and Gemma and Tig are already taking him inside, to patch him up.  
What was that? My heart is pounding in my chest as I clutch my hands around the handle of the purse I had on my left shoulder.

For a second I make eye contact with Jax and I suddenly get sick to my stomach. I run to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. I let it drip from my face onto my shirt as I watch my own shocked reflection in the mirror.

I've never seen Jax like that.   
His blue eyes were black with rage, he was transformed.  
Jim's words resonated in my head: "He can be a good person but that doesn't make him not dangerous. Just because he's a pretty boy doesn't mean you should trust him."

I guess I just got to meet the real Jax...Jim was right all along. This is the type of situation I worked so hard not to find myself in since I first left home, but it seems like no matter what I do, the circle of violence follows me.  
I should've left right after the motel shooting, as my gut was telling me.   
Well, I'm listening this time.  
I have to leave.

I exit the bathroom and overhear Gemma and Clay talking:

"I was just trying to pull him closer; his old man's words continue to poison his mind even from beyond the grave."

"He loves you Clay, he's _your_ son."

"He's turning into his old man, first trying to get the club out of guns and now refusing to work with the cartel.  
I can't control him anymore, and it's all John and Piney's fault."

"Listen to me. We have to get rid of Piney and we need to do it fast. Then everything will go back to normal. Just push him further into going nomad."

Guns? The cartel? What's going on?  
I get out of the garage, take off running and get in the first cab I see.  
I have to pack my things and leave as soon as possible.

When I get to the cabin, Jax's bike is already parked out front. Somehow he got there before me.  
It's fine. I'll just act like I know nothing.

I take a few deep breaths and wipe the mascara from under my eyes before entering. I quickly scan the cabin but I don't see anyone.  
I go into the bedroom and there he is. Sitting on the bed, waiting for me.

"Look Jax, I've overstayed my welcome. I'll just pack my things and be out of your hair before you know it."

"You don't have to leave. Just let me explain what happened."

"You don't owe me any explanation. It's fine, really."

I frantically stuff my clothes into my luggage while Jax is saying something. I'm not listening.

"Lizzy just listen to me."

He keeps explaining himself but I don't really hear him, I just continue looking for things to throw into my bag.  
He grabs my arm to try and stop me from packing but I pull myself away. He caught me by surprise so I tell him the first thing that comes to mind.

"I don't want to be part of your gun cartel!" When I realize what I said, I immediately cover my mouth with both hands, but it's too late.

Jax looks at me in confusion and shock.

"I promise I won't tell anyone about it. Just let me leave and you'll never hear a word from me again." I take a few steps back.

"Gun cartel?" He frowns.

"I heard Gemma talking to Clay about it. I swear I won't tell anyone. Please don't hurt me. I've been in situations like this before and I know they don't end well." I take a few steps back.

"I'm not gonna hurt you. Just let me explain."

"Jax I really-"

He pulls me close to him and looks me in the eyes "Just give me another chance. I don't want you to leave. I promise I'll explain everything."

I just look at him, speechless. He immediately changes his voice tone into a calming one, almost whispering.

"I'm sorry if I scared you back at the clubhouse but the shit that went down was due to happen for a really long time." He knits his eyebrows together.

I slowly pull away from him and he sits back down on the bed.  
"What were Gemma and Clay talking about?"

"We're not a cartel Lizzy...We really are a motorcycle club...But the garage doesn't pay well, so the club got into the gun business...long before I was born. "He looks up at me to see my reaction, but I don't show any emotion. He starts nervously twisting the rings on his fingers.

"It's rooted in our charter and I'm trying to get us out of it...make the club legit..."

"So what cartel were they talking about?" I cross my arms.

The anger comes back in his eyes. "Clay wants to get us into mulling drugs for them, cash out before his retirement, which is getting closer; you can't ride, you can't be part of the club, and his arthritis is getting worse. He doesn't care that having a relationship with the cartel will fuck the club up, push it further away from what it's supposed to be. But I won't let that happen."

I'm processing all of the information.   
My whole perception of the club, no, of the town changes in a second. Everything becomes connected, even the motel shooting. All those innocent people killed.

"And what happened at the motel? Was that you eliminating competition from your territory?" I squint my eyes at him.

His eyes widen "No! We really don't know who did that. I was telling you the truth about who I think was responsible."

I sit down besides him staring at the wall. What is this place? How did I get myself into this?   
I guess making my own life more complicated is a habit of mine.  
No matter what I do I always end up in situations like this.  
And I really thought it would be different this time, I thought he was different...

"I know it's a lot to take in, and you only know a very small part of everything, but please don't go...You've been my only peace in all this chaos. I can finally think clearer."

He gives me a look that breaks my heart. I feel the same when I'm with him...I feel safe...The only moments of true peace that I've felt in this past year have been here, in Charming...

He turns to face me and puts his arms on my waist sending shivers down my spine. I look him in the eyes and get lost in them. It's like he's inviting me to take a look into his soul, see how hard he's trying to make things right and how he longs for understanding and love.

He lifts me and puts me in his lap, pushing my hair over my shoulder, never breaking eye contact.   
He kisses me and I feel my stomach drop.

I haven't felt like this in so long that it's like a whole new sensation.

I kiss him back with all of my being; he tastes like blood.

He unzips my dress and flips me over onto the bed, getting on top of me. At this point my breath is so heavy that I feel dizzy.  
I help him take his shirt off and he starts kissing my neck.   
A moan escapes my lips and he immediately kisses me. His hand goes from my inner thigh to my lace panties. I moan again and he takes them off.

He breaks away from the kiss, looks me in the eyes and slowly thrusts into me.

I feel butterflies in my stomach and arch my back. I can't think anything else except that I wish he was all inside of me, that we would merge and become one. I let myself be consumed by this sensation, by him.

My senses are amped-up and every little touch or kiss makes me go crazy. He's like a drug and I'm high as a kite.

He wraps his arms around me and digs his face into my shoulder, sending me over the edge. I dig my nails into his back and let go. I let go of all of my doubts and worries for the future. I'm in the moment and all that matters is us. 

He slows down and starts trailing my neck, collarbone and shoulder with gentle kisses until I can breathe again.   
I interlace my fingers with his and get on top.

I gently bite his neck and he mutters a "fuck" under his breath, giving me goosebumps. He puts his hands on my hips and I start moving slowly.   
He's so hot. I get turned on just by looking at him.

We make love for what seems like a few hours, and feels like the most intense workout I've ever done.

We lay down exhausted.

"So...will you stay?" He smirks at me.

I blush and cover my face with my hands but he takes them away, looks me in the eyes and gives me an eskimo kiss. What am I doing? God...

I put my hands on the sides of his face and think "pretty boy". How can he have such a range of emotions in such a short period of time? I've never met anyone like him. I peck his lips then get up.

"Where are you going?"

"I need a shower." I laugh, grabbing a towel from the closet.

"Wait for me."

I jokingly glare at him.

"What? I need a shower too." He winks playfully, following me into the bathroom, like a lost puppy.


End file.
